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The Situationship
Exit Plan

30 days. One small step a day. Out of the confusion and into your self-respect era.

30 days10 min a dayPrintable + phone-friendly
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Real talk

You already know.

You've read the posts. You took the checklist. You know the red flags by heart.

But knowing and doing are two different things, especially when he texts "hey stranger" right as you're finally moving on.

You don't need closure from him. You need a plan for you.

What's inside

Four weeks. Four shifts.

Week 1

See it clearly

Name what this really is, without the excuses you've been making for him.

Week 2

Step back

Boundaries, mute buttons and what to do when he slides back in.

Week 3

Come back to you

Your time, your friends, your plans. Rebuild the life you put on hold.

Week 4

Choose better

Your new standards, so the next one has to actually show up.

This is for you if…

Be honest, sis.

  • You've been "talking" for months and still don't know what you are.
  • You keep saying "this is the last time" … and then it isn't.
  • You check his last active more than you check your own goals.
  • You're ready to stop waiting and start choosing yourself.
Join the waitlist

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  • 💌 First access on launch day
  • ✨ A waitlist-only launch discount
  • 📝 A free Day 1 exercise while you wait

No spam. Just sis-to-sis emails. Unsubscribe anytime.

Questions

Quick answers

When does it launch?

Soon. Waitlist members hear first, by email and in my DMs.

What if I'm still talking to him?

Perfect. You don't have to block anyone on Day 1. The plan meets you where you are.

Is it a course or a workbook?

A 30-day workbook: one short read and one small action a day. Print it or use it on your phone.

Didn't get the free checklist yet?

Grab the "Is He Serious?" checklist here →

Catherine is an AI character. The Situationship Exit Plan is for self-reflection and personal growth, not therapy or professional advice. If you ever feel unsafe in a relationship, please reach out to someone you trust or a local support line.

Stop Being Mediocre Because of Picking the Wrong Battlefield

LH Leon Ho July 17, 2017 6 min read
Reading Time: 4 minutes

I believe many of us, either consciously or subconsciously believe that life is a quest for self-improvement, a quest that only ends in death.

This is a popular notion, after all, consider the abundance and popularity of self-help books and sites.The focus on improvement is so strong that, according to this graph

The use of the word “improve” has been increasing steadily since the start of the 20th century

Yet all this focus on a general improvement means that we often don’t know what to focus on. We want to improve, but we don’t know the answer to the simple question: Improve what?

Developing the wrong things can complicate or slow down our quests for self-improvement.

Wayne Rooney, the world famous English soccer player has played a number of different positions on the pitch. Because of this, he is a skilled all round player. He’s good but he might not be as nearly great as he could be if he decided to play to his strengths and stick to them.

This is obvious when compared to Cristiano Ronaldo, who has always played to his strengths by focusing on being in forward. Cristiano Ronaldo is considered to be arguably the finest player currently in professional soccer.

If Ronaldo were to have decided to move about the pitch, playing a great number of different positions, then as he never focused on developing his skills, he would have likely ended up an inferior player than he is today.

Ultimately it is easier to see your own weaknesses than strengths. This can be worse when you see someone great at something you are not. It is easy to feel compelled to try to match them in their skill. However, this disregards the probability that you are better at something than them. Returning to the soccer analogy, if a whole team were to try to match each other, instead of developing their own skills. It would be a mediocre team.

It is impossible for one person to be great at everything, so developing in a focused way may be the true source of self-improvement or growth that you actually need.

This notion has been proved in the history of the smartphone too.

Consider the history of the smartphone[1] Prior to the unveiling of the iPhone in 2007, phone companies thought the future of mobile phones resided durability, the chipsets, and appearance (for example the popular Motorola RAZR [2] which only really was revolutionary in appearance, not tech).

Apple, however, realized people deep down wanted more efficiency, and something more than just a mobile. Luckily being innovative and improving efficiency has always been Apple’s strengths. In focusing on their strengths, they have revolutionized the mobile phone industry. Whereas everyone was trying to improve upon everything, Apple just made a device that encapsulated everything they already did well.

Because they played to their strengths they exceeded, outclassed and outsold their competitions, and eventually the competition ended up more or less copying Apple with their own smartphones.

Improving everything = Becoming average at everything

The best way to truly improve yourself doesn’t go with finding and getting things you don’t have, but building on the things that you have already.

This process can be painful and difficult. Whenever we find things we aren’t good at, it is perfectly natural to want to become good at it. However, time is finite. Every second you spend going from bad to decent at one thing is a second you could have spent on going from good to sensational at something else.

But what exactly should you do?

1. Clearly, identify your strength

It is a good idea to sit down and work out what exactly your strengths are. Only you know this, you might be a fantastic painter, a skilled engineer, a great sportsperson, a passionate performer, or a great writer….it doesn’t matter. Once you have identified your strengths, hold them, celebrate them! But at the same time accept that it is literally impossible to be great at everything, so why try?

2. Define it clearly by doing detailed research

Once you have identified your strengths and skills, spend the time to truly learn about them, learn what can be improved and how to go about improving. You can only build on something if you know and understand everything about it. For example, if you are already good at communication, look into the importance of tone and body language, and as a result, you will go from a great communicator to an exceptional one.

3. Breakdown your strength into small parts and start practicing, deliberately

Once you understand yourself and your skills you can now readily identify what parts you need to build on and what parts you don’t. After this, you should practice your skill with the specific aim of improving on on that particular aspect. This is called deliberate practice. If you want to learn more about deliberate practice, I recommend you read our article about it on Lifehack. Once you improve on particular parts, your overall skill level improves dramatically as you are training yourself in a very systematic, strategic way.

Picking flaws at what you are already good is hard but this is how you can turn from good to great

This process is extremely difficult and can be initially very disappointing. When you develop skills in something you’re not already good at, you can see obvious progress in not much time at all. However, it is much less easy to spot improvements in something you’re already good at. It is easier to spot things you’re not very good at than to spot things lacking in things you are already good at. To see flaws in something others think you are skilled at.

Therefore it seems to truly excel you need to focus. Develop one thing you’re already good at and keep working on it until you’re the best.

Reference

[1] Guardian: The history of smartphones: timeline
[2] Business Insider:Watch The Incredible 70-Year Evolution Of The Cell Phone

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Source: Lifehack

LH

Leon Ho

Freelance writer, travel blogger, web designer, digital marketer, and SAG-AFTRA background actress. Writing about personal growth, mindset, spirituality, and the digital nomad lifestyle — based everywhere and nowhere.